JIALIZ

无聊的日子，无聊的我，面对着电脑胡乱的点着，看着无聊的视频，却哪里也不想去，我不知道我未来的方向，我觉得好像是杨澜说的吧，女人的一生事业和家庭是 两条腿，少了哪一条都不行，我好想更倾向于家庭，我想要一个幸福的，可以依靠的家庭，我越来越发现，我是一个很依赖别人的人，我害怕一个人的房间，我喜欢 开门看见有个人在那里，那时看见她在那里真的好高兴。

I don’t know why god make me like this ,the worst disease i can imagine ,or may be you may say that you should think about the people who have suffer malignant diseases,such as cancer or etc. think back to my past times ,rarely have i enjoy my life，if i have face everything happily,i may be better than i am now .

Today is a special day for both me and him ,my love ,we seprated .yes we break .

I always can not imagine what my life would be without him, i can not leave him,since i love him so much ,yet ,i have to face the reallity,so many people have failed on their first love ,may be i should persuade myself like this.

I still waiting for his massages ,even i hardly know what can he say ,and indeed there is nothing can we talk about.

There is a huge wall between us ,it is not his fault,not mine neither,

I always wondering ,if i am a healthy girl ,my life would be perfect:i can marry him,and we have a cute baby , a own a family.yes ,if i am a healthy girl ,this is the most common thing i can own easily.

But ,you konw my condition ,you know my excuses .

So ,sometimes i feel guitly for him ,he is absolutly innercence ,he should have a common life ,like he always dreamed. i am just a passager of his life.
he will forget me sooner or later.nothing could be worse than this to make me sad.

But my life should be continue ,i still have a long life to go ,even i don not know my future, especially my future family, i should hold a hope in my heart,i should confornt to this thing.

i have to be breave ,you aught to be breave!

you aught to be breave!

you should learn to subject all these Unfortunate thing in your life.

Life is difficult ,because you can coming to this world ,you are determined to surfer.